Wrapping up Week 33...or 34?

Been a while since I have blogged about anything. Maybe I was waiting until I had A LOT to talk about? I will try to throw the excitement of the last few weeks in 1 post! (WISH ME LUCK!)

I guess the first thing...that is a major change for our household is the kiddies are back in school now. The summer went by so fast and for them I'm sure it went twice as fast. The last couple weeks were the worst...not sure why really. Anyway...Andrew is a junior this year and Kate is a Freshmen. I know...sad! :(

Kate was very nervous..not just because of the new school but HIGH SCHOOL! School has been in session for a little over a week and I think they are getting into the groove of things. I hated high school so I don't envy them. It's just one of those things that you have to participate in to get to the rest of your life.

We will start with the best pic!

Goofy...yup they're mine!

Hard to believe this is my child with long hair and lip rings. Looks a little different then my 3 year old blond terrror I remember!

Can't believe how grown up she is already! I see her every single day but pictures open your eyes sometimes more than real life!

I was shocked at how excited they were on the first day. I only posted the pics that they won't complain about me sharing with THE WHOLE WORLD because I took several and after careful consideration....these were the chosen ones.

 

Since I am talking about my children, I might as well throw the little guy in there.

 

This is the best pic we have of Liam. He just looks happy and I can see his little nose and lips. It will have to be enough to get us through another month!

 

It's so hard to get a good picture of a sonogram pic. I wish I could have gotten a 3D US with a disc and such but trying to keep cost down and our insurance won't cover a 3D. Duane and I were both anxious about this particular visit. Him because he is an anxious Daddy and just wanted to make sure baby was doing ok and me? I just wanted to make sure he was still a boy! AND HE IS!!!

Everything seems to be going great with baby. Seems very healthy. Always active. When he isn't active...I worry. We haven't seen our OB since July 3rd which is a really long time when a girl is as far along as I am. When they made my appointment they had to work around the time Jane WASN'T in the office and then they called to reschedule once and last Wednesday we went in for our appointment, waited 30-45 minutes and they came and told us that Jane had to leave to go up to delivery. NONSENSE!

We were very angry. We look forward to every visit...especially this one because we have decided that we want a c-section. We want to make plans for the c-section and we had lots of questions that have yet to be answered because our new appointment is on Monday. HOPEFULLY we get to see her then!

With our last US they gave me a new DD of Sept. 29th...which sounds amazing. I am not sure Jane will move us up but I'm hoping! I'm also hoping that I can take 3-4 weeks off and be healthy and get back to work cuz Christmas is coming and coming fast....as it always does! LOVING the fact that some of the stores have their Halloween stuff out already. As horrible as it seems...Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love to decorate. Love all the spooky stuff and LOVE scary movies!!!! Also, there isn't the added stress of having to spend hundreds of dollars on the people that mean the most to me. I hate that Christmas has come to that. I guess if I was a millionaire...Christmas would be my favorite holiday. Til then.....Halloween is it for me! :)

The place where Lil Liam will be born...if all goes as planned!

 

The night b4 our last appointment I went to the hospital because I was having regular contractions. I called into work several hours b4 because they were time able and BH aren't supposed to be. I was also having alot of back pain and some pelvic pressure. I let this go on for about 5 hours b4 I decided to go to the hospital. Part of me knew it was way too soon but with all the symptoms...I had to be sure. After 3 hours in OB and a lot of monitoring they determined I was just dehydrated? Believe it or not after I drank LOTS more water than I wanted, the contractions stopped. I really haven't had any since then! As much as Duane and I want to meet our little guy...we want him here healthy and fully baked! I'm hoping the next few weeks go quickly.

 

Work is becoming more challenging. I can't stand for long...30 minutes at the most or I feel like my bottom is gonna drop out. With this last week, I haven't even been able to sit comfortably either. Hoping that my employer will understand I am really doing the best I can. Just creepin up on the MISERABLE stage! There are many aspects of my job that I can't do to the fullest because I can't bend over and I can get to the floor but getting up is a nightmare! Luckily...I have a pretty good crew that seems genuinely concerned about me and tries to help whenever they can. When I was off for 1 day...I came back and staff that I seldom talk to came up to me and asked how I was feeling. Even residents. Kind of a switch to what I'm used to. Starting to remember why I worked @ Pine View for as long as I did the first time around.

 

People care...or at least pretend that they do and sometimes that's all I need to keep me going!

Survival Mode...

Pretty much sums up this week! Throughout my life I have struggled with bouts of depression. I always find a way to crawl out of it. This week has been awful. There are so many times that I just wanted to drop everything and just cry. Yes, I know probably the pregnancy hormones! That is what everybody keeps telling me. Sometimes I just feel completely alone...even when I am surrounded with people.

I deactivated my Facebook earlier this week. I have found I am less likely to get my feelings hurt with it deactivated. I miss it but so many things in my life have changed over the last several months that it's as if I am standing on the outside of a department store having a HUGE sale and I can't get in!

I try to focus on what makes me happy and stray from the mental stressors of everyday life.....

Currently I am in my 31st week. Today I have my 3rd and most likely my last ultrasound. Hoping Liam is doing ok and is getting into position 4 his big debut!!!! When I started working 2-10 I thought...oh boy...I don't have to be tired all the time anymore! WRONG! I am exhausted all the time. I am getting along better at work. Takes a long time for me to feel comfortable anywhere but I'm getting by. I wish I wasn't so socially awkward sometimes and wish that I could be more aggressive but that is a trait I got from my Mama. Not all bad I suppose but kind of a necessity when they expect you to be a CHARGE nurse.

Sometimes while I am typing on my blog I have flashbacks of my Doogie Howser M.D. days. Gosh I loved that show! Life was so simple back then. I had an amazing childhood. Sure I only had a handful of friends but they were good friends. I try to explain that to my daughter as she complains of only having a couple friends. She will be greatful for those friends later in life when she grows up and they all go their separate ways. Life does that to people and its so sad. I miss all of my friends. All of them...from every stage in my life. I keep in contact with nobody. All I have left are memories.

Kate returned from church camp this week. She had a blast and can't wait for her little brother to go to church camp where she will hopefully be a camp counselor. I pray that she stays involved in church and continues to be proud of her religion and her love for God as she goes into high school. High school sucks...there is really no other way to describe it....it sucks! I hated it and wouldn't go back if they paid me. Sad to think in 4 more years she will be out of school. She wants to grow up about as much as I want her to but unfortunately I haven't been able to find this "fountain of youth" yet!!!!

Andrew has quit his job @ McDonalds about a week and a half ago. Conveniently a week after we got him a new bed in which he was going to make monthly payments for. Even more convenient I get to take over those payments. The last week has been very similar to the behavior I was dealing with right before he went away to Clarence Kelley. I pray that we don't have to revisit those days. When I say we...I really mean ME! I am the one that can't sleep at night because I don't know where he is or what he is doing. I'm sure his Dad is sleeping like a baby. I can't imagine having 2 children and not supporting them or even caring about their well being. Just hope that he finds another job soon and I don't have to drag him out of bed every single morning to go to school.

I whine alot about foolish things like never having any money after I get paid to do the things I WANT to do. I guess I should be happy with what I have? I try to be. I really do. All my bills are paid but gosh it would be nice to be able to take myself shopping or get my hair done or my nails...blah blah blah. I keep trying to cut things in my head such as internet or cell phones or tv. All these things I fight to pay every month that are just a stressor but they are also things I want and my kids want. Not sure what the answer is but I'm tired of struggling. I make alot of money but the only way I survive is with my mother's help. Have I said thank God for her today??? I have thought about a second job after baby is born but do I really wanna go back to a 60 hour work week?

I THINK NOT!!!

Praying something good happens so I can enjoy life a little before my children are grown!!!