Every year for as long as I can remember, has a tragedy wrapped around the holiday season. Of course, the holidays are always hard on me as my family, the ones I love most in this world have all passed within a couple months from Christmas. My sister passed the week before Christmas. I will never forget that for the rest of my life. It was the worst Christmas I have ever had. That was the first hit my family had taken. Or at least the one that affected me the most.
A year after my sister, we lost my Dad. His health was bad and in many ways it was a blessing as he was a different person after he had the stroke. He was completely dependent on my mother and while she missed having him near, she was relieved at the same time.
In 2014, I lost my Mom. Something I will continue to live with for the rest of my life. I hate that she isn't here to watch Liam grow. It makes me angry and question my faith greatly. I have always had a great love for the holidays (I got that from her). This is why all of my children have the same love. Christmas music is hard for me to listen to, even the upbeat ones. It's so funny (or not really) how a song can take you back to a certain time in your life. Holidays from many years ago. I remember vividly and hope that they always stay fresh in my mind even though they are painful, it is all I have left.
My family was able to get together for the Thanksgiving holiday. This is the first time I prepared a meal on my own for so many people. (How did Mom do this for so many years??) I fretted over it all week, and although I didn't have the fancy table cloth and old farmer salt and pepper shakers that Mom always used. Or even the Thanksgiving napkins, It was a success (and maybe I will work on my presentation more next year...this year it was DON'T BURN ANYTHING AND GET IT ALL DONE AT THE SAME TIME)
This year, we added yet another member to our family (not legally) My older kids seem so happy and I am anxious to see what the future brings for them!
One of the things I remember as a child at Christmas time was that Mom would get an advent calendar every year and I would get so excited to open or change them every single day. I wanted to create that same thing for Liam as he is sooooo very excited about Christmas this year! I decided to try my hand at making my own calendar and Liam and I sat down together to come up with some ideas on what we would do for the month of December! I think it turned out great. Next year I will revamp and be marketing these in my store as well!!!
Liam is so proud of this (as am I) and I think we will have a lot of fun with it!!! I love Christmas, all of it!!! The red and the green, silver and gold, the tree, the corny Christmas movies and music. The time with family, the gifts, the tree, the lights, making new traditions/memories every year.
